The Time and Energy Dilemma

So little time, so much to do. Everyone probably has this problem to some degree. When you have MS, it can be an even bigger dilemma.

Since I have to deal with often feeling fatigued and generally moving slower than I'd like, time is a precious commodity for me. So is energy. I often find myself in a "use it or lose it" situation. I have to take advantage of the energy when I have it, and get things done before it runs out. So if I am suddenly feeling energetic at seven in the evening, that is the time to head off to the store.

Scheduling activities is next to impossible. You never know when fatigue will strike. There are certain times of the day that I tend to feel a little less tired, though, so I make all my appointments for around those times.



In a way, my time and energy dilemma has been a helpful thing. It has helped me to learn how to prioritize. I used to try to do too many things in one day. Now, since my energy is limited, I can only do so much in a day, and everything takes longer when you're slower. It's also helped me to feel less stressed. I used to be late for everything because I wasn't giving myself enough time to get where I needed to be. Now, I'm kind of forced to give myself extra time because of my slow walking. It feels good not to have to be rushing around anymore.



Sometimes I think it would be nice to have more hours in the day, and I'd like to move as fast as I used to, but I do welcome the challenge of getting things done in spite of the limitations with which I have to contend.

My Obstacle Course

Getting around when you have MS can be challenging at times. I never realized how much I took walking for granted until my walking got slower and, occasionally, a little unsteady. These days, with my troubled gait and bothersome fatigue fighting against me, I often feel like getting around in everyday situations is like making my way through an obstacle course.

To keep the fatigue from walking to a minimum, I try to keep it simple, remembering that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Still, there are those times when I have to change course when I'm walking, resulting in extra steps. There can be people or things that I have to go around when I am out and about. Little unexpected roadblocks. Just the other day, I had to walk around two parked bicycles that were blocking my path to the entrance of my local pharmacy. Sometimes I even have to walk around my cats, or step over them. They like to challenge me. I think it's their way of trying to keep me nimble.

Whenever I go somewhere new, I have to keep an eye out for steps, and scope out the parking situation to see how far I'll have to walk. Sometimes handicapped parking is not available, so I recently obtained a cane, which helps a bit with walking greater distances. I am mindful of curbs, or cracks in the pavement. Trip hazards. If I trip these days, I fall. I can't recover from a trip and regain my balance anymore. Another worry I have to contend with is winter travel. Walking through snow and over potentially slippery surfaces is always a concern. A little patch of ice and one wrong move, and down I'll go!



I try to look at getting around and performing daily tasks with my MS symptoms as an adventure. It isn't easy. Sometimes the obstacles I encounter can be frustrating. Maybe my arms get fatigued, and I find myself fighting with food packaging that's difficult to open, or dropping things repeatedly. Or I'm walking through a store, or wherever, and I feel like I just want to scream, "Everyone get out of my way!" But somehow, I get through it.



Life itself is sometimes an obstacle course. We make our way through it, bumping into this problem, or that dilemma. My own personal physical obstacle course has me dodging low energy here, having to take a longer walk there. Things that were once simple to do now require much more effort and attention to detail. Well, without obstacles, I guess life would be pretty boring.

The Low Energy Journey

For the past ten years, I have been on a journey that I did not choose to go on - I have been living with MS. These days I think of it as the "low energy journey", as my main symptom is fatigue. I feel like I am running on a quarter tank or less most of the time.

Recently I went to Lowe's for a new hose sprayer nozzle and a few other small things. Though all the items I needed were in the same general area, just walking around in this huge home improvement store sapped up my energy pretty fast. During the long walk to the checkout area, I had to stop and rest for a moment a couple of times.

It's much the same no matter where I go. The more walking I do, the more quickly I run out of gas. But you take a break, and you move on. That's how life is in a lot of ways. You just have to find a way to keep going.

Working with low energy is a challenge. It requires patience, perseverance and often some strategizing. I focus on key things like:

Prioritizing tasks. This is a must these days. I have to stay within my energy budget. I can't do as much as I'd like all in one day, so I have to decide what the most important things to do are for that day. I can only do so much and only go so fast.

Working in some down time. We all do it - try to do more, to squeeze things in. We wear ourselves out sometimes, trying to finish things or to get a jump on things we have to do the next day. I get tempted all the time to try and get more done, but in dealing with fatigue you have to know your limit and try not to push yourself past it. It's important to rest and recharge your battery, then you can get moving again.

Staying positive. I can't change the fact that my body works the way it does now. Sometimes it can be frustrating not being able to do everything I would like when I want to do it, or how fast I would like. All I can do is accept it and work with what I've got. I always remind myself how fortunate I am that I am able to do those things.

It may take me a little longer to get where I want these days, but I know I'll get there.

The Last Summer

A few years ago, I bought a couple of scrawny dianthus flower plants and put them in the good soil right behind my house. The little guys grew big and strong and have bloomed brightly the last few summers. They are a wonderfully colorful and easy to care for perennial that I love.

Today as I was looking at their explosion of bright pink and red flowers, my thoughts drifted, as they have so much of late, to the fact that this will be my last summer at this house.

Not that I want it to be. Like many Americans, I find myself facing the loss of my home to foreclosure.

Needless to say, this is a tough time for me, and I am finding it difficult to keep a positive frame of mind. I love my home. Nine years ago, when I was looking for a house, I drove by this one every day for two weeks. I wrote down the name and phone number of the realtor from the sign on the lawn. When I finally called, I was told a sale was pending.

Well, the sale fell through I guess, because I kept driving by for a few more weeks and the realtor's sign was still there. I got in to see the house and fell in love with it. I submitted an offer through my cousin, who's a realtor, and the next thing I knew, I was a homeowner.

Wherever we live, it becomes a part of us, and we become a part of it. When we leave a home, we leave a part of our life behind.

I know that having to leave here will probably be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. I have a lot of memories here, and this house will always have my heart.

So many things happen in our lives that we don't want to happen. It makes us feel helpless and like we can't control anything. The only thing we can do is get through them and move on. That is our challenge when life deals us these blows.

I will miss the dianthus, and the day lilies I planted. I will miss my trees and shrubs and the birds and squirrels I have fed. I will miss everything about this house. But for now I will try to make the most of these days as much as I can and enjoy this place for as long as I continue to remain here.

Challenge Thyself

Life can hand us a lot of challenges. There are also times in life when we challenge ourselves.



Some of us may want to do something to reinvent ourselves. Others, like myself, may want to make major changes in our lives such as getting a new job or career.



Challenging ourselves begins with a goal. What is it that we want to strive for? Then we have to decide if we want to take that journey. Are we up to the challenge of working toward fulfullling our life goals or dreams?



In my own life, I feel like being complacent and accepting the way things are is not the direction I want to go in. I know embarking on a job search isn't going to be easy. I haven't worked in two years because of my MS. But trying to get back into the working world is a challenge I am ready to take on.

Here is a list of what I see as rules to live by when challenging thyself in life:

Think big. Don't go for something too easy. If it's too easy, where's the fun in that? You want to go for something big, something that's going to really make an impact on your life. Want more from your life. Do more; work harder. Have a positive attitude and don't back down from the challenge.

Follow your dreams. Everyone has something they dream of doing. We all have that airplane we want to jump out of or the desire to do something that we really love for a living. Think of the thing you dream of having the most in life. Maybe you want to challenge yourself this year to finally take the first step in making that dream a reality.



I think having a dream is a wonderful thing, and while I would never discourage anyone from pursuing their dreams, I'd caution them not to shirk responsibilities or quit their "day job". You can still go for the thing you really want more than anything even while having to stick things out in your life as it is now.



Stay motivated. Sometimes we may feel trying to reach our goal is becoming too challenging, and we're tempted to just say "forget it" and give up. Don't give in to that feeling. Maybe you can get friends and family involved for encouragement. Even with their support, it still comes down to you, though. Work on your self-confidence and be your own biggest cheerleader.

The important thing is to keep moving toward the ultimate goal and not lose momentum. Stay focused and keep pushing through.

Keep your eyes on the prize. Fear of failure is a sure fire destroyer of motivation. Don't worry about not succeeding at reaching your goal. Just keep thinking how great it will be and how much positive change will come into your life if you do succeed! (Or I guess I should say when you succeed.)

Setbacks may occur, but they are only there to step over as you move toward meeting your goal.


Celebrate your achievements, however small they may be. If you've had even a small success on the way to accomplishing your goal, reward yourself. Knowing that you're moving in the right direction and keeping up the positive energy will get you that much closer to your goal.





This new year seems like a good time to rise to your own personal challenge and do something awesome.

Life's Little Challenges

I remember how quickly and easily I used to go up and down stairs. I didn't even think about it at the time; it was like breathing - I just did it. Now, because I have MS, it takes me a little longer to climb up a staircase and going down stairs can be even more laborious. I definitely have to use handrails these days, too.

Taking the stairs is a challenge for me now. It's not a major obstacle; it's just not as easy as it used to be.

Sometimes when we get hit with a problem in life, a bunch of others come falling on top of it, like candy spilling out of a broken pinata. When we're faced with a big problem, it can also cause a lot of everyday things to become more challenging. These smaller challenges can be the most frustrating, as they are a constant reminder of the larger problem. Just going grocery shopping is complicated these days because of higher prices and tighter budgets in our struggling economy.


When things become challenging, whether it's because of health conditions, money woes, or some other negative circumstance, I've learned it helps to do the following:

Practice patience. I used to be kind of an impatient person, but being slowed down by MS has definitely changed that. Since I already have to have a lot more patience with my own body, it's gotten easier to have patience with others. Things that may have irritated me before, like waiting in line, don't bother me as much now.

Patience is said to be a virtue. It's also necessary when circumstances get tough. Things won't get better overnight. It takes time.


We may feel like we're burdened enough, and then something else goes wrong. Right now on top of the fact that I'm dealing with my MS symptoms, I have a sick cat, a car that needs new brakes, and oh yeah, it's the holidays! I could become impatient because the problems can't be taken care of quickly or easily enough, and I could take my frustration out on someone else, but what good would that do?



Getting impatient doesn't help. It doesn't make the situation go away; all it does is make us tense and irritable.

Relieve stress. Dealing with challenging circumstances is stressful, and that means getting some downtime is a must. Do what you can to relax as much as possible. Try to have some fun and take your mind off the things that are stressing you.

Taking care of ourselves is of the utmost importance. It's easy to skip out on doing things like getting enough rest and taking time for ourselves when we're stressed. I often find myself stressing over situations and then realize I've gotten myself to a point where I am either physically or mentally exhausted. So I take some time to just watch a little TV and relax, or I go for a quiet drive to clear my head.



Find ways to adapt. Being flexible and innovative helps when life throws a challenge our way. If it's going to be around for a while, we may just have to get used to it. We may have to make drastic changes or even call upon the people in our lives for help.


We can always find ways to change how we do things and still keep up with the demands of our daily lives. The current economic woes have brought about a lot of frugality. In dealing with MS of course, I've had to adjust daily activities because of having limited energy to work with. I've learned to prioritize and give myself extra time to do things.


In some cases we have to adapt emotionally. I find it easier now to keep my spirits up when I am hampered by MS. It wasn't always that way, but both time and the realization that there were other areas of my life where I could still find happiness helped me to better handle the situation and develop a more positive attitude.


Dealing with our challenges we may feel anger and frustration, and that's understandable. We just can't let those negative feelings overtake us or cloud our judgement.

Keep your chin up. Whether you're dealing with an ongoing situation like having MS or a temporary setback that makes day-to-day things tougher, it's important to maintain a positive outlook.

In a previous post, Pathway to a Positive Attitude, I wrote more about doing just that.

Life's journeys don't always take us over a smooth road. We do hit some bumps now and again. How we react and deal with them is our challenge. I still take the stairs from time to time because I like a challenge.

A Steep Uphill Battle: Dealing with Fatigue

We go at it every day. It's a never ending good against evil kind of battle for control over my body. It's me versus the fatigue.

The biggest problem I have with MS is the almost constant fatigue. That weary, run-down feeling that makes you feel like you just want to fall over and makes it difficult to get things done. Everyone gets fatigued, but I have it no matter how much or how little I do. It's there, making me feel like I just ran a marathon when all I did was walk across a room.

I work against it, fighting to do the things I want to do and need to do. It resists me every step of the way, slowing me down or making me want to collapse on the couch. Every once in a while I give in. Most of the time I plow forward, fatigue be damned.

The reason I push myself and fight the fatigue is because I want to maintain as much power as I can over my body. MS can make you feel powerless sometimes.

It's not easy to stay upbeat when you're dragging yourself around. Or having to plan every little activity and limit the number of things you can do in a day just because you're easily tired.

I've learned to live with the fatigue. We'll never totally get along, but we have to coexist. I have things to do, and I cannot let fatigue stand in the way of that. Maybe working full time is not an option, but I still have plans and goals I want to shoot for.

Working against fatigue is like walking up a hill. As you go up your body begins to resist, every step becomes harder, and the higher up you go, the more strength it takes to move your body forward. It can be a struggle, but if your mind is in the right place you can overcome the fatigue and make it to the top of the hill.

In dealing with fatigue, I've learned the most important thing to do is maintain a positive attitude. Fatigue is a challenge, but it's not a barrier.

Also, it's necessary to strategize. I've broken it down into the following key areas:

Time and energy management. Time and energy are two precious commodities for me right now. They're both limited. My energy is like sands running through an hourglass sometimes. With less energy, it can take more time to do things, or things may have to be cut short because I don't have the energy to go on longer. I've eliminated words like "rush" and "hurry" from my vocabulary when it comes to physically doing things, because I don't have the ability to do that anymore.

Sometimes I need to set aside a block of time or reserve some energy by resting up before a big task or trip. I always have to remember though that it may not be possible to set anything in stone, and of course to never, ever overdo it.

Organization. Managing fatigue means running a tight ship. With limited time and energy to work with, planning is a must. Daily activities are mapped out, shopping lists are made, time of departure is predetermined. No whims here. No energy for that. It's not just get up and go.

Schedules can be hard to stick to, though, so it's necessary to prioritize. The tasks that don't meet the 'must-do' criteria get pushed to another day.

Rest and refuel. Since I have yet to find a medication that will adequately suppress my fatigue, I pretty much have to work around it. Vitamin B12 helps somewhat. Mostly I find I just have to go with taking little rest and refuel breaks when I need them to get through the day.

I think that's something everyone can benefit from. We run ourselves down sometimes. And even when we chug energy drinks, we still end up hitting a wall. Taking breaks during the day is a must.

Who's in charge here? Above all else, it's important to remember who's boss, and it's not the fatigue. Staying in control is of the utmost importance. Sometimes I feel like a drill sergeant. We'll rest when I say we rest! We'll go where I want to go and do what I want to do!

The bottom line is that I don't let fatigue take over my body without a fight. MS may have placed limitations on me, but when it comes to the things I can still do, I will continue to do them on my own terms. I relish the fact that I can still do the everyday things that need to be done, and even if I could get someone else to do them for me, I wouldn't want to. That would make me feel helpless.

Focusing on the bigger picture. Sometimes in life we have to make adjustments in order to stay positive and maintain contentment. Accepting things that we can't change is part of that. I can't change the fact that I have fatigue, and I'm faced with the challenge it presents.

Accepting things doesn't mean giving in. It's about finding ways to deal with them. It means staring down the challenge, whatever it may be.

Meeting challenges head on and fighting that uphill battle takes strength and determination. It means taking control of the situation and never backing down.


I can't back down. Otherwise, I'll never make it to the top of the hill.