The Journey Toward Happiness

One of the New Year's resolutions that I made for this year is to be happier. I looked over my list of resolutions again today, and I thought to myself, "Okay - how exactly am I going to accomplish this?"




It's a pretty general statement to say I want to be happier. It sounds like a tall order, too. In thinking about it, I asked myself: What can I do to be happier? What will make me happier?



There are lots of things that can happen in our lives that bring us happiness. But sometimes we have to find happiness on our own.




If my goal this year is to be happier, I figured it probably won't just come my way through a series of fortunate events. I probably won't win the lottery, for instance. That would be wonderful of course, but I thought a plan to create more happiness in my life would be more practical.




I think doing the following would help us all reach a happier place:




Find things to be happy about.

Sometimes we can get pretty bummed out about how things are going in our lives. Maybe we don't like our jobs, or we have problems with a relationship. We may not feel like we have much that makes us happy. But by looking a little more closely, we can see that we do have lots of things to be happy about.

Make a list of the things that make you happy and the things that are going well. I started a list a long time ago that I've added to over the years. I just write down any little thing that I like or that I'm glad about. Like chocolate. Or more recently, the fact that in spite of my love of chocolate, I've dropped a few pounds. (I think it's all the snow shoveling!)

No matter what we may be going through in life, we can always find something to be happy about. Simply counting our blessings or looking around and seeing that there are positive things going on around us can make us happy.

Spend more time doing the things that make you happy.

Whether it's cooking dinner for friends, heading out to the golf course or curling up with a good book, just take time out to enjoy yourself more.

Spend more time with the people in your life who always make you laugh. Try to spread some cheer around to someone else who needs it. Giving to others and making them happy is a great way to make yourself happy, too.



Embark on a new journey of fulfillment.


Everyone has ideas about what would make them happier. A new relationship, a new career. We all have things we want to do, places we want to go. Often though we get stuck in a rut, and we don't go after the things we want, even though we would like to be happier.



We hold ourselves back sometimes in life. Maybe it's because we can't get motivated, or we have a fear of failure. Having a positive outlook and going after what we truly want could get us to that happiness, so why not try?

Trying something new or searching for something meaningful in our lives or just seeking out a more fulfilling career could make us much happier. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'd like to do, but I feel like now is the time to act on it if I really want to try to be happier.

I think it would make me happy to know that I finished something or that I am on my way to where I want to go in life. The happiness would come from the journey.

Focus on the positive.

Banish the negative thoughts and focus on the good things in your life. Keep reminding yourself what a great person you are and that you deserve to be happy.

Certain things that make us happy may be hard to come by these days. But even if we can't have everything we want in life, or things aren't going our way, we can still find ways to be happy. The more time we spend with those we love and doing the things we love, the happier we can be. We can choose to focus on the positive; we can choose to be happy.

The journey toward happiness begins within ourselves.

Having a Bad Day - Dealing with Negative Emotions

Our emotions can get the best of us sometimes. This time of year we can become emotionally overwhelmed by the stressful holidays or the seasonal depression that often comes around during winter. The current economy has left many of us downhearted and probably even angry that things have gotten this bad. Or maybe we just feel sad, and we can't narrow it down to just one reason.

Having MS can be emotionally challenging as well. The stress and frustration of putting up with all the crazy symptoms can make you just want to scream. Sometimes you can feel very alone in your illness, like no one could possibly understand what you're going through.

Unfortunately, we can't be happy all the time, though we'd probably like to be. For times when your mood is bad or sad, I can offer the following suggestions:

De-stress. Sometimes we just need to step back from whatever is stressing us and take time out for ourselves. I find just putting on my favorite music and relaxing for a while helps me to calm down and renew both my spirits and energy. I also like to go for a drive at a quiet time of day (not rush hour) and clear my head. I stick to the residential streets and let my thoughts meander.

Sometimes it helps to be by yourself for a while. If you're angry, sometimes you need to walk away and collect yourself before you deal with it to avoid possibly saying something you'll regret.

Don't push people away, but let them know you need time to yourself.

Let it out. If you feel like crying, cry. Want to scream? Have at it. As long as you're in a spot where you can let it out, of course. Releasing the pent up feelings allows you to move on and start to heal.

Pamper yourself. Negative feelings are draining. Get some rest, throw on makeup even when you don't feel like it, and get that new hairstyle you've been wanting. Remember, it's better to look good than to feel good. (just kidding) Seriously, though looking your best can help lift your spirits, and there's no sense letting those bad feelings show on your face.

Laugh out loud. Laughter is good for you physically and mentally. It gets your heart rate up, increases circulation and releases those feel good endorphins. It's great stress relief and helps encourage positive thinking. I find just watching my favorite sitcom or a comedy movie really helps take my mind off my troubles and feel refreshed.

Spend time with children and pets. No one can be sad for too long when they're around the natural positive energy of children, watching them play, hearing them laugh. Kids just have a natural ability to make you feel better with their silly little ways.

Pets can pick up on the fact that you're feeling down. They are truly our best friends, never judging us, loving us unconditionally. They are happy just to be around us. Spend some time playing with them and giving them lots of hugs!

Talk to someone. Call up a friend, or talk to an understanding family member or counselor. Get your feelings out in the open and talk about what's troubling you. Getting it off your chest helps immensely.

Above all, being able to think positively and focus on the good things in your life will help chase away those negative emotions.

Coping With The Winter Blahs

The holiday season hasn't even ended yet, and I can already feel the winter doldrums setting in. I usually get tired of winter after the first week. I don't dream of a white Christmas; I actually hope for the snow to stay away.

It happens every winter. At some point the snow and cold become tedious. After the joy and excitement of the holiday season have passed, there's not much else to do. Seasonal depression kicks in for lots of folks, except maybe skiers. Some of us just feel helpless against the weather and shut in with cabin fever.

Sometimes it seems like the only good thing about winter is the end of it.

I used to love the snow when I was a kid. I'd make snow angels and catch snowflakes on my tongue. Now when I see it snowing, I wonder how I'm going to navigate through the the white stuff, both on foot and driving.

It's no fun trudging through the snow when you have MS. I have enough trouble walking without the frozen obstacle. Shovelling snow, brushing off the car, driving along hoping the car doesn't skid - it all gets to be too much sometimes.

Still, in spite of my stiffness and fatigue, I'll plod through the snow every day to fill the birdfeeder hanging off the big tree in the center of my backyard. Then I'll scatter some walnuts for the squirrels. It's become a winter ritual for me, and I do enjoy seeing the birds flying around the feeder and the squirrels bounding through the snow and munching on the walnuts (or occasionally helping themselves to the birdseed).

Simple pleasures like this make winter more tolerable. And even I have to admit a quiet snowfall or the snow glistening in the moonlight can be beautiful.

I don't think I've ever really had what they call seasonal affective disorder, but I do feel more sadness and frustration in the winter, and there is no question the weather is to blame. As the weeks of winter drag on and turn into months, it's easy to get a bit depressed. The days are shorter, the weather is at times unbearable. It seems the only thing to do is look forward to spring.

It's easy to feel trapped in the winter, watching the snow pile up, then having to go out and fight your way through it just to get to work. Or not being able to go anywhere because of a blizzard.

I've noticed on the winter weekends, unless there is a blizzard, the roads are filled with cars. People are out and about, going shopping, doing things. That's the main thing that helps ease the winter doldrums - getting out of the house. Staying home in the winter just makes me more sad. I need to get out whenever possible and get some fresh air and sunlight.

Shaking my fist at the bitter cold wind, I'll go out, brush off the car and head out, hoping I don't get stuck in the driveway, or anywhere else for that matter. By the time I come home, getting back in the warm house and out of my snowy boots gives me such a sense of relief. I made it through the frozen tundra!




Like many other things in life, winter can sure test a positive attitude. It's not easy to fight off the winter blahs. For me, it's the little things that get me through it, like feeding the birds and squirrels, sipping hot cocoa or seeing the occasional snowman when I drive down the street. Sometimes I can't help but smile when I see kids outside riding on their sleds or having snowball fights. It takes me back.

Maybe I'll try to make a snow angel this winter. I'm going to have a heck of a time getting up afterward!

So if you find yourself feeling blue this winter, remember - Spring is coming back!

(And please remember to feed the birds.)

Taking on The Boogeyman

Now that Halloween is almost here, it's time to put up the spooky decorations and get out the scary masks. We sure do like a good fright this time of year. Only on All Hallows' Eve do we get to have fun with fear, an emotion that plagues us throughout our lives.


As children we were afraid of imaginary things. We feared the boogeyman and the monsters that we thought lurked under our beds. As adults we find the fears become more real. We fear losing our jobs, getting sick, not having enough money to pay our bills.


Nothing to fear but fear itself? I don't know about that.

Our fears are intensified by what is happening in our world. The economy, war, natural disasters. All these very real fears can make those monsters from our childhood look like sweet little cartoon bunnies.

It's hard to not be afraid of a looming hurricane or job loss. Or being diagnosed with a scary illness like MS. I can't and would never tell anyone not to be afraid when something bad happens. I've been there. I've been scared. I still get scared. Fears are hard to get rid of, and they're made worse by uncertainty.

We worry about what will happen if we get sick or lose our jobs. Thinking about the effects that there could be on ourselves and our families is unsettling to say the least. We worry about growing older and whether we'll be able to take care of ourselves or be taken care of.

Perhaps the future is the new boogeyman.

As adults, we have to face our fears and deal with them. Sometimes we may yearn for the simpler times when all we had to do was call out for Mommy from our darkened bedroom when we thought the monsters would get us.

My strategy for dealing with fear of the future is to focus on what is happening in my life right now and how to deal with it. It's not that I don't think about the future. I just want to spend more energy on enjoying my life now. I've already been diagnosed with MS and had to stop working, and I'm still standing. I've gone through periods where I felt like I was being chased in a scary movie. The boogeyman didn't get me though.

I don't spend time thinking negative thoughts about what could happen. I know when I get another job, I could lose it and have to start all over again. I know my condition could get worse. I could scare myself silly thinking about all the bad things that could happen, and I don't want to live in fear.

Being afraid is unavoidable. We can't prevent the things that frighten us from ever happening, but letting fear take over our lives is useless and senseless.

We can only deal with things as they come. We can draw on our inner strength to deal with the scary stuff if and when it happens.

Our lives are complicated, and just getting through the often very stressful days is challenging enough without having the boogeyman chasing us. We need to lose him and try not to think the worst when things go bump in the night.

Happy Halloween!!!!