A Little List

I make lists all the time - shopping lists, to-do lists. It's a necessity for staying organized and remembering stuff. Sometimes I like to make lists just for fun though.

I've been thinking about it lately, and I decided to make a new list I shall call -

"Things I am tired of hearing about":

• Going green. I care about the planet, and I try to do my part. I recycle, I do what I can to save energy (love those squiggly light bulbs!) But I am sorry, I will not trade my car for a bike, and I won't hang my clothes out to dry. It was fun helping Grandma do that when I was a kid, but I am just too tired these days to drag wet clothes outside.
  
  


• Being frugal. Times may be tough, but some folks are taking the frugality thing to the extreme - planning grocery trips like they are military missions, refusing to buy even the things they need even when they have the money for them, going out of their way to save a dollar. I refuse to live on oatmeal for a month to save money. We all work too hard to drive ourselves crazy over something as simple as shopping. Make a list, cut a few coupons, use common sense, don't overbuy- no big deal. And it's okay to treat yourself once in a while, as long as you don't go crazy.

• Social networking sites. I joined Facebook a while back, and I have to say, I am not seeing a lot of socializing going on there. Sure there are occasional comments, maybe some updates from the games my friends are playing. I do think it's nice to see old friends again and keep up with your favorite shows or bands or whatever all in one place. But the hiding behind the keyboard 'point and click' mentality of these sites makes me wonder what will happen if I run into one of my Facebook friends in public - will they actually speak to me?
  

• Whatever the latest techno gadget is. Don't want it, don't need it, don't care. I am happy with my current PC, television and cell phone; they suit my needs.
  


• Texting. Doesn't anybody talk anymore?

• Video games. When will this era be over? My nephews are too into these things. Kids need to go back to reading books, playing outside, and just plain watching TV for entertainment.

I am sure there are more, but I can't think of them right now. Oh, political 'hot-button' issues, but that is a whole other list!

My "Workout" Routine

When it comes to fitness, I am not a devotee. While I am not a big fan of exercise, I have always liked walking and running. Of course I am not very good at those things anymore. Still, I think I get a pretty good amount of exercise these days.

My workout routine:

(Disclaimer: Because I am dealing with MS fatigue and stiffness, this "workout" has a higher level of difficulty for me than for someone who does not have MS - they will have to adjust as needed.)

Stretching and Bending - Get up and feed the cats first thing in the morning. Repeat throughout the day as often as cats wish to eat. One cat has hyperthyroidism and eats about ten times per day. Summer additions - picking up trash in yard and pulling weeds.

Climbing - One word - stairs.

Walking - For the summer, I've added dragging the hose around the yard to water the flowers, and walking to the door to let the cats in and out of the house as often as they wish to this part of my routine.

Walk around house to clean, walk in parking lot of doctor's office, grocery or other store, etc. (distance varies depending on whether or not handicapped parking spot can be obtained), walk through store pushing shopping cart. Occasional walking in yard or at the park. Every step is a journey! (Tee hee.)

Weightlifting - Carry grocery bags into house (usually divided into stuff that needs to come inside right away and stuff I can leave in the car and get later), clean cat litter box (as in dump out old clay litter and replace with fresh), carry cat litter bag or laundry basket up and down basement stairs (combines lifting with climbing), drag heavy trash cans to curb (combines lifting and walking).

Cardio - Um, no. Unless the seasonal tasks like leaf raking and snow shoveling count.

I don't know how many calories I burn with my workout routine, but I can say that at the end of the day, I am wiped out!

The Friendship Journey

"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I recently joined Facebook and began getting friend requests. My Facebook "friends" consist mostly of former co-workers I haven't spoken with for a while (and I guess we still aren't), and a couple of people I've known for years. Being added as a Facebook friend may be a flattering way to up your social status, but true friends are of course much better, and much rarer.

My two oldest and dearest friends live out of state, so I haven't seen them in ages. But the bonds are still there - we cherish all the memories we share and still feel the connections we have, even across the miles.

I've lost touch with most of my school friends over the years. It's sad how some friendships don't survive. The nature of friendships is always changing, though. The real friendships endure, through the good times and bad. As the journey of our friendship continues, the passage of time and our memories converge.

One minute, you're meeting for the first time as little girls on your friend's front porch. Fast forward almost thirty years and you're grown women saying goodbye at the airport, still mourning the tragic loss of her younger brother.

Friendship has evolved with the help of the Internet. These days my "best friend" is now my "BFF" and with a click of a mouse we can add Facebook "friends". We can update each other on Twitter and have online get-togethers - social networking via the computer keyboard allowing everyone to share in the goings on and LOL. And we can find old friends and acquaintances right on our computer screen.

Still, the friends who mean the most to us and the time we spend with them in the real world are what truly matters. A hundred Facebook friends cannot take the place of the one true friend you've known for almost your whole life, the one who knows you best and is always there for you.



It is our duty to make sure we never lose contact with our true friends. Even if we aren't always on the same path, we started a journey together that may have seen some rough spots along the way, but has always been filled with love and understanding, and the desire to continue on.




Some friendships come and go, but for some the journey will last a lifetime.

The Simple Joys of Sleep

Who doesn't love to sleep? What better feeling is there at the end of a long, stressful day than collapsing into your bed and drifting off to the Land of Nod?

I know after a long day of doing battle with MS fatigue, my bed can be the most welcome place on Earth. Slipping under the covers can be the greatest feeling. And I love how after a while, I hear my little cat come walking into the room, and she jumps up and settles in next to my leg.

Whether you're down for the night or just a quick catnap, getting some shuteye is a must, and sleep is a natural mood lifter.

Think of how great you feel after a really good night's sleep. Especially if it's accompanied by a wonderful dream. You wake up feeling totally refreshed and ready to take on the day.

Dreaming of course is the best part of sleep. It's amazing how our mind can take us on these incredible journeys while we're lying safe in our bed. We can be anything in our dreams, do anything, go anywhere. Sometimes it's like watching a really cool movie.

Even more awesome is how our subconscious thoughts can manifest themselves through our dreams, using vivid images like wild explosions or having us being chased down dark alleys, to represent what is happening in our waking lives.

I love dreams and dream interpretation. It's fun looking up dream meanings to find out what your dreams are trying to tell you, and it can be very insightful.

I remember my mom had a book called 10,000 Dreams Interpreted or What's in a Dream, and I think that's the best dream book I've ever used. It's on my wish list right now since I have no idea what happened to her copy.

Another great thing about sleep - sleeping in. That feeling of relief that comes from knowing there will be no alarm going off to jolt you awake - nothing can beat that. You can stay in bed and dream all morning. It's especially great sleeping in when it's cold or raining outside. And speaking of rain - there is also the calming feeling of lying in bed listening to the rain on the roof and letting it lull you to sleep.

Though we may occasionally have to contend with insomnia, or get startled awake by a nightmare, or have to deal with snoring, sleep gives us so much more than rest. No one can get by without the obvious benefits of sleep. If we don't get enough sleep, we're sluggish and cranky all day.

So, seeing as I've had a long day and it's nearly midnight (yawn), I'm off to bed.

When It's Okay to Waste Time

Most of us are under a good deal of stress for one reason or another, and we all want to make good use of our time. We try to get the most out of it, and sometimes we try to squeeze too much in, adding to our stress. I've written about having to work around my MS fatigue and how valuable time is for me. Too valuable to be wasted. But sometimes we all need some diversion to keep us from pulling our hair out.

I am not talking about planned activities or taking a vacation from work. Yeah, the "vacation" that ends up being catching up on stuff around the house or a project from work that we brought along. I mean little everyday diversions. Maybe we spend half an hour doing a crossword or gabbing on the phone to a friend. Little diversions and time wasters, if used wisely, can be a good thing if it means we can get out from under what is bogging us down for a while.

The other day I spent about fifteen minutes watching some of my favorite commercials online, like the talking baby that buys stock online (he's just too cute) and the one where the guy is stuck in a hostel in Brussels with the 'techno twins' because he didn't get his friend's call on his cell.

Waste of time? Sure. Fun, though? You bet.

Okay, I know that's fifteen minutes I can't get back. I probably should have spent those minutes doing something more constructive. I am a grown-up, the time for such inane activities is over, right? Wrong.

Even as responsible adults we still need to goof off once in a while. We spend so much of our time with our nose to the grindstone at work and meeting all of our obligations at home and with the family. Just taking a few minutes a day and spending them on some mindless activity is not going to rob us of anything. The things on our to-do list will still get done; deadlines will still be met. (Spoken like a true procrastinator, I know.)

Still, taking some time to goof off can help keep our spirits up and keep us young. So crawl around on the floor with the kids or dangle a toy in front of the cat. You'll love spending the time together, they'll love the attention, and you'll get to take your mind off your troubles or whatever else is gnawing at you for a little while. That's not a bad deal.

Time wasted doing something that relieves our stress and makes our day a little brighter is time well spent.

Laughing Matters

The other day I was in a bad mood all day. I just felt like I had too much to do and everyone was annoying me. By evening I was just exhausted and irritable. Finally having a chance to relax, I played a comedy special I had downloaded on my computer and found myself giggling away within seconds, all my stress melting away.


It's amazing how powerful humor can be.


Laughter is one of the greatest things about life. It has so many benefits: it gets your heart rate up, burns calories, relieves stress, releases those feel good endorphins and helps promote positive thinking. It's just an all-around wonder drug.


Being able to make others laugh is a great gift. I love watching stand-up comics perform. They do such an awesome job of talking about everyday things and making them funny. One thing I think is so important to have is the ability to laugh at ourselves. Comedians are really good at that, and they help us to laugh at ourselves as well.


Sometimes in life, you just have to laugh. Being able to laugh at those little screw-ups we make or the silly things the kids or pets do gives us a break from the dreary and serious routine of work, the pressures at home, the bills piling up and having to deal with whatever problems may jump out at us.


While MS is no laughing matter, I have found not taking some of its effects on me too seriously makes them easier to deal with. Walking a lot slower than I used to is a pain, but when people are waiting for me I just smile and say, "Here I come" or "I'm on my way, just a little slow these days."


Having MS has also turned me into a klutz. No matter how hard I try, I cannot avoid the occasional clumsy episode. I trip, I fall, I veer to the left. I have fallen in the snow three times this winter just while shoveling or brushing off the car. Picture a tree toppling over in the forest. Timberrrrr! That's me.


I could easily get frustrated by the physical challenges in my life. Falling down and having to struggle to get back up is no picnic to be sure. I have learned to make light of my own lack of coordination, though.


A couple I know came over a while back with their eighteen-month-old boy. We were on the front porch and he started climbing down the steps using his arms and legs and I said, "He goes down the steps like I do."


Sometimes I do feel like a toddler - physically. I mean, I'm not throwing tantrums or grabbing whatever I want and saying it's mine. A grown woman acting like that - now that would be funny.




Recommended reading: Someone I think was really funny was Erma Bombeck. Her humor-filled tale of her life as a suburban mom in The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is a page-turning laugh riot.

Gadget Overload (or Fondly Remembering the Rotary Phone)

In the preview for the new movie He's Just Not That into You, Drew Barrymore's character laments about being rejected via several different technologies. Given today's technology, it's not much of an exaggeration.

Cell phones, PDA's, portable DVD players, Blackberry, Bluetooth, text messaging, iPhone, GPS...my head is spinning. With all the techno-gadgets out there, I have to wonder, how did we ever survive without all this stuff?

Well, we did. Some of us still do. I have a cell phone, but it's not even a camera phone. It has text messaging, but I've never sent a single text message.

I don't have GPS in my car. I don't do a lot of long distance driving, and I use the old fashioned county road atlas if I'm going to an unfamiliar part of town.

I've always been a little resistant to technology. I guess I'm old-fashioned. I grew up in the age of rotary phones (I always liked the sound the dial made), and when I was a little kid we had a black and white TV. When I was in high school, we got cable TV, an answering machine and a VCR, the hot new technologies of their time. Yet, I remember when CDs came out I refused to buy them for the longest time.

It's amazing how far we've come, how much communication has evolved. But while the function and convenience of all the latest technology is appealing, I think we may be too reliant on some of these gadgets.

Do we really need to pay the cable bill while we're ordering lunch at the drive-thru? People are so into multi-tasking these days they are even conducting business by Bluetooth at the grocery while choosing pasta sauce. I once saw a husband and wife talking on their cell phones at the grocery...to each other. She had called him from the next aisle, and he was walking toward her. Geez!

While it's great we can receive or send information from anywhere, I worry about what all these gadgets have done to us.

It's like we've become gadget slaves. People who are so addicted to text messaging, we will risk getting into trouble at work or school. Or who laugh in the face of danger by texting while driving. Or who have to have every new gadget that hits the market, we don't care what it does, we just know we have to have it! Or who can't just relax and enjoy our leisure time without allowing ourselves to be repeatedly interrupted by our ringtone. Or who'd rather drive into a tree than have to read a paper map.

Seriously though, sometimes I get nostalgic for the days when we didn't have all this stuff. Things are moving so rapidly these days, and everyone just seems so stressed out, doing more and working faster, that I find myself missing the simpler times.

Still, all the technology we have is pretty neat, and it does make life easier and allow us to get information faster. But it may have the tendency to drive you nuts. Think of poor Drew!

The Self-Improvement Journey

One thing that is essential to our contentment in life is feeling good about ourselves.
Sometimes even though we like ourselves, we may decide there is room for improvement. We may want to lose weight, get organized, work on being a better listener. We just realize there is something we'd like to do better or that would help us to feel better.



I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I've been watching a show on VH1 called Tool Academy, where guys whose girlfriends are fed up with them for being bad boyfriends are trying to work on their relationships by becoming more honest, mature and trustworthy. They are working on improving themselves so they can be better men for their girlfriends.


It's kind of a lame show, but it got me thinking about what kind of self-improvement I need to do.


The first step in any self-improvement plan, of course: identify what you need to work on. Then come up with a plan of action, set some goals, and identify the rewards.



Ditch the bad habits.

Make a list of any bad habits you'd like to shake. Old habits may be hard to break, but I have some I sure need to try and get rid of.


Probably my biggest bad habit is that I procrastinate. I am constantly putting things off until the last minute, and I have a couple of 'ongoing' projects that I haven't even touched lately. I'm also frequently late to appointments (I swear this one is hereditary) and I have a tendency to interrupt people when they're speaking.


Do yourself some good.


Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more or eating healthier, we all could use more wellness in our lives.

One thing I've been hearing other people with MS say is that they've been eating better - cutting out fat and that sort of thing. I always kind of gulp and think about how bad my diet is. I love sweets, and I've never been able to stay off french fries. I know if I eat healthier I'll feel better, but I need more willpower.




Become more _____ (fill in the blank)


I've always struggled with being shy and unassertive. I've gotten better at being more outgoing and assertive as I've gotten older, but I still need to work on both of these things more.

I think we all battle insecurities and want to develop qualities that could help us in different areas of our lives - on the job, in our relationships, and so on. Perhaps we want to be more dedicated, have a more positive attitude, be more patient.


So how can we go about trying to improve ourselves?


There are lots of self-help books out there and programs to help you break habits, like smoking for instance. It really just comes down to discipline - sticking with something. Sometimes we need to get motivated or we need a push. Get friends and family in on the act. Make them hold you accountable.


It all starts with setting goals. I set a baby-step goal to spend an hour each week working on one of the projects I've started. Hopefully my goal will lead to a finished project and a feeling of accomplishment. (If I can just get that stool in the kitchen fixed...)



I already have started to eat healthier. Honestly, food prices aren't going to make it any easier, but that's no excuse. Even just substituting veggie soup is better than having fries.

I had a couple of early appointments last week, and I'm happy to say I woke up early enough, left early enough, and got there on time. (That's huge for me.)


I've also been finding myself striking up conversations more lately. When I go for my treatments, when I am at the grocery, or just recently at an employment center orientation. I feel very good about the fact that I can talk to people so easily now (and I haven't interrupted anyone lately). I just need to keep it up and not crawl back into my shell.



Being able to see some good results from some of my self-improvement goals has really helped me to feel positive and stay motivated.



You can do things to improve yourself, but it's also important to be yourself, and not try to be someone else. I used to not like myself very much, and I thought I had to act differently in order for people to like me more. I eventually found that people really do like me for who I am.

You don't have to make changes to make people like you. Having a positive attitude and liking yourself more really goes a long way.

Now as for the guys on Tool Academy, they really do need to make some changes.

Why I Like to Read My Horoscope

Some people think astrology is a bunch of hooey. I'm not sure I totally believe in it either, but I have to admit, I do like reading my daily horoscope.




Horoscopes may not always reflect what's really going on in our lives, but there are days when my horoscope, while not dead on, comes pretty close to addressing issues I am actually having, or just how I am feeling.





Just recently I wrote about being cautiously optimistic, and the next day my horoscope warned against getting my hopes up too high and advised using "caution" with optimism. It's pretty cool when my horoscope says stuff I've been thinking about anyway.





Of course, not all horoscopes offer the same predictions. The newspaper may say one thing, and my horoscope on Yahoo! may say something different. So it's not an exact science, but I still find horoscopes useful.





Some great things about horoscopes are:



They can put you in the right mindset. When I read my horoscope in the morning and it says I'm going to have a good day, I may be more likely to have one because the horoscope helped me to be in a positive frame of mind. If it warns against problems, I'll likely spend some time thinking about possible solutions.



They can give you something to think about. Sometimes your horoscope can give you some ideas about things to do or what direction you may want to go in life. It can get you thinking about starting a new project, taking a chance on love, doing something to improve your relationships or just doing a little self-improvement.



It's fun to read about yourself. Sometimes your horoscope can hit the nail on the head when it describes you. Not all of it may sound like you. I'm a Sagittarius, and while people born under this sign are supposed to be athletic, I most certainly am not. Still, some of the characteristics and behavior your horoscope may describe can sound just like you. You almost feel like the person writing it knows you.



They can offer guidance and encouragement. Sometimes horoscopes can help us make choices. They can help us identify the good and bad points about our options. And once in a while, my horoscope will make me feel better if I'm feeling down about a situation. The horoscope may point to challenges or tough times ahead, but it will also tell me that I am strong enough to get through it. Reaffirming your good qualities and your abilities may be a way to take the edge off the bad news in the horoscope, but it does help with maintaining a positive attitude.



They can help you look forward to the future. It's always fun to see what your horoscope says the future has in store for you. It may not be accurate, and it may not affect your life plans, but at least it can give you a positive outlook.


Whether you believe in it or not, astrology can offer some great insights. No matter what your future holds, it could very well be in the stars.

The Half-Full Glass - Trying to Stay Optimistic

It seems like there isn't much cause for optimism these days. Lots of folks are having a tough time, and with a gloomy forecast for the economy in 2009, it's hard to have a positive outlook on the future. Sometimes I feel like things are only going to go from bad to worse.


I've always been cautiously optimistic at best. My whole life I have battled pessimism and negative thinking. I have felt time and again that I brought myself down and caused my own misfortunes by having a dim view of things. That old self-fulfilling prophecy.


I wish I knew how to be more optimistic. I mean, I do have a sense of optimism about things. I don't get down about the fact that I have MS. I don't get all gloomy and doomy about my future as far as that is concerned.


I would like to be more optimistic about the future in general, though. I think about what I want my life to be like, say five years from now, and sometimes I feel down about it. I catch myself thinking no good things will happen. I refuse to let myself envision my future self having a lot of money and living in a nice big house. That would be optimism, and my mind doesn't seem to want to go there!


It takes work to fight off pessimism. Sometimes I think we just don't want to get our hopes up about things. Or past experience has taught us not to.


I tend to have little spurts of optimism. Today was a good day. I started the ball rolling on trying to become employed again by meeting with a job counselor and signing up for some career assessment classes. I felt pretty good after that, like I had gotten on the right track, and I could see myself becoming employed in the next few months.

I think sometimes we just don't want to get ahead of ourselves with the optimistic thoughts. That way, we think we won't be disappointed when things don't work out. But of course, we still do get disappointed when things don't work out.

Being optimistic seems like the better way to go. I'd rather feel 'up' about something. If it doesn't work out, the disappointment is short-lived, and I can just move on. I'd rather be hopeful right now about my future and the future of the nation.

So I will remain, as ever, cautiously optimistic. But maybe with a little less emphasis on the cautious part.

Coping With The Winter Blahs

The holiday season hasn't even ended yet, and I can already feel the winter doldrums setting in. I usually get tired of winter after the first week. I don't dream of a white Christmas; I actually hope for the snow to stay away.

It happens every winter. At some point the snow and cold become tedious. After the joy and excitement of the holiday season have passed, there's not much else to do. Seasonal depression kicks in for lots of folks, except maybe skiers. Some of us just feel helpless against the weather and shut in with cabin fever.

Sometimes it seems like the only good thing about winter is the end of it.

I used to love the snow when I was a kid. I'd make snow angels and catch snowflakes on my tongue. Now when I see it snowing, I wonder how I'm going to navigate through the the white stuff, both on foot and driving.

It's no fun trudging through the snow when you have MS. I have enough trouble walking without the frozen obstacle. Shovelling snow, brushing off the car, driving along hoping the car doesn't skid - it all gets to be too much sometimes.

Still, in spite of my stiffness and fatigue, I'll plod through the snow every day to fill the birdfeeder hanging off the big tree in the center of my backyard. Then I'll scatter some walnuts for the squirrels. It's become a winter ritual for me, and I do enjoy seeing the birds flying around the feeder and the squirrels bounding through the snow and munching on the walnuts (or occasionally helping themselves to the birdseed).

Simple pleasures like this make winter more tolerable. And even I have to admit a quiet snowfall or the snow glistening in the moonlight can be beautiful.

I don't think I've ever really had what they call seasonal affective disorder, but I do feel more sadness and frustration in the winter, and there is no question the weather is to blame. As the weeks of winter drag on and turn into months, it's easy to get a bit depressed. The days are shorter, the weather is at times unbearable. It seems the only thing to do is look forward to spring.

It's easy to feel trapped in the winter, watching the snow pile up, then having to go out and fight your way through it just to get to work. Or not being able to go anywhere because of a blizzard.

I've noticed on the winter weekends, unless there is a blizzard, the roads are filled with cars. People are out and about, going shopping, doing things. That's the main thing that helps ease the winter doldrums - getting out of the house. Staying home in the winter just makes me more sad. I need to get out whenever possible and get some fresh air and sunlight.

Shaking my fist at the bitter cold wind, I'll go out, brush off the car and head out, hoping I don't get stuck in the driveway, or anywhere else for that matter. By the time I come home, getting back in the warm house and out of my snowy boots gives me such a sense of relief. I made it through the frozen tundra!




Like many other things in life, winter can sure test a positive attitude. It's not easy to fight off the winter blahs. For me, it's the little things that get me through it, like feeding the birds and squirrels, sipping hot cocoa or seeing the occasional snowman when I drive down the street. Sometimes I can't help but smile when I see kids outside riding on their sleds or having snowball fights. It takes me back.

Maybe I'll try to make a snow angel this winter. I'm going to have a heck of a time getting up afterward!

So if you find yourself feeling blue this winter, remember - Spring is coming back!

(And please remember to feed the birds.)

The Importance (and Fun!) of Making Lists

I love to make lists. I write them all the time. Mostly it's the standard 'to-do' list of course (which never gets done, but that's okay), but I also make lists just for fun and sometimes to keep things in perspective.

Around this time of year we're usually making lots of lists (and maybe even checking them twice). We're listing what we need to do to get ready for the holidays, what presents we need to buy, maybe even our New Year's resolutions.

Lists are important because they serve as a guide, a plan or even a record. They are a necessary instrument in helping us get things done and helping us to remember things. From the simple grocery list to the list of names on the Veterans Memorial, lists are everywhere.




We need lists, but making them need not always be a serious chore. Here's how to have some fun with lists:

Make a list of your hopes and dreams. Write down all the things you'd like to do - travel, start a family, become a doctor, whatever it may be. Put together your wish list for life.

Start your own book of lists. Buy a blank journal style book and write down some lists. They could be anything from your favorite childhood memories to your favorite movie moments.

I have an old cloth covered blank book I bought at a bookstore that I've written lists in over the years. I have lists of things that make me happy, my favorite songs of all time, things I hope they never stop making (like Diet Dr. Pepper), memories, etc. It's a fun hobby, and it's something I can look at from time to time and enjoy.





Write down all the things you want to remember. They could be funny things that happened or what flowers you want to plant in the summer or plans for decorating the living room. Any ideas that come to you or little stories you want to be able to share with others later. This is especially important if you like to write. I have a list of things I want to write about on my blog, and I add the ideas as they come to me.




Some great things about lists:

• They help you stay motivated.



• They help you stay on task.



• They give you a sense of accomplishment when you finish something and cross it off the list.



• They help you remember things and generate ideas.



• They can inspire you.

Don't be afraid to go "off-list" from time to time. Just because something isn't on your shopping list doesn't mean you can't get it. There's nothing wrong with impulse buys if we can afford them. And if a task on your to-do list doesn't get done, it's certainly not the end of the world.


Sometimes we have to break away from the structure of our list and improvise.


Recommended reading:


The Book of Lists by David Wallechinsky, Irving Wallace & Amy Wallace. This book has lists dealing with all different topics from animals to sports to movies. A good read for anyone who's a fan of lists.

An Attitude of Gratitude - Being Thankful

With the Thanksgiving holiday just a few days away, we're probably taking stock of the things we're thankful for. Giving thanks may be a holiday tradition, but life gives us so many things to be thankful for year round.



When we make a list of the things we're thankful for, our family and friends probably top the list, followed by our successes and the good fortunes that have come our way. Besides reciting our list at the Thanksgiving dinner table, there are other ways we can show gratitude in our lives.





Here are a few simple ways to be thankful every day:

Hug a loved one. Let those close to you know how much you appreciate them. Make an effort to spend time with them and do something special for them.

Don't overlook the small kindnesses. Express your gratitude for small favors and acts of kindness. Simply saying "thank you" when someone does something nice like holding a door open can make them feel good and makes us feel good in return. Random acts of kindness and polite gestures are too uncommon these days to let them go unnoticed, and appreciation is always appreciated.

Count your blessings. Take stock of what you have. If you feel like things aren't going your way, make a list of the things that are in your favor. It could start with things as simple as having a roof over your head, or having your health. Don't take anything for granted.



Look at the world around you. There are so many ordinary things to be thankful for in life. Sunshine, the laughter of children, our favorite song on the radio, an unexpectedly warm day in December. Take a moment each day to notice the little things around you and enjoy them.



Stay connected to the past. When thinking about your family, don't forget the loved ones who've passed on. Be grateful for the memories of the happy times you spent with them and the love you had for each other. Remember the things you learned from them. Maybe you still fix things the way Grandpa showed you or you cook with some of Grandma's recipes. These are year-round ways we pay tribute to those who are no longer with us.



Look to the future. Be grateful for new opportunities, your children, anything that represents the future for you. Be thankful for each new day.


Make a list of things you're thankful for anytime. I am thankful for every sunny day, for the ability to create a blog and express myself, for those reading my blog, and I am thankful for every step I take.

Going It Alone

I am kind of an expert on being alone. I am not married, I live alone, and what few family members I have live far away, so I don't see them often.

Spending time alone is a necessity. We need time to ourselves to think and reflect and to just enjoy the peace and quiet. But while there are times when the solitude can be welcome, being alone isn't always a good thing.

As part of my effort to maintain a positive attitude in life, I think I've managed to embrace all that's good about being alone and to deal with the bad and the ugly of being alone.


The Good


Living alone is mostly a good thing. You have the whole place to yourself, which is awesome. No one else is there to get in your way; there's no one to pick up after (unless you have messy kitties like mine). There are no fights over the phone or the bathroom. The space is all yours. Every room is your domain, your retreat.

Some people don't like going places alone, but it actually can be very fulfilling and relaxing.

Traveling alone can be wonderful. You get so much more out of the experience when you don't have to worry about schedules or arguing about where to go and what to see. The whole itinerary is at your discretion. You can gain so much more from the experience and notice so many little things you might otherwise miss.

I traveled to Europe with a group once, and I didn't feel like I was able to enjoy it. Everything was planned to the letter. There was too much running about and no opportunity to just relax and immerse myself in the culture.


I remember when I spent a summer in New York, I spent a lot of time by myself, walking through various parts of the city, taking it all in. It was great just absorbing the sights and sounds of the city. I felt like I was a part of it. Having another person to share it with might have been nice, but I liked being on my own in a different place.

Just going anywhere alone can be great if we make an effort to enjoy it. There is so much to appreciate in life, and we need to take advantage of it. We don't need someone to accompany us every step of the way.

Another good thing about being alone is that you get to be kind of selfish. It's probably the only situation in life where it's okay to feel selfish.

You get to have everything in the house to yourself ("It's all mine!") and you get to do whatever you want and go wherever you want. Outside of your job, there's no one to answer to, no one else whose needs you have to worry about.


The Bad


The downside of being alone of course is you don't have the readily available love and support of a close family in your own home. Sometimes I do wish I had that.

It helps to remember that I am not the only person in the world who is alone. There are lots of people who don't have families, who live alone.

Another disadvantage of living alone is that you have to do everything around the house yourself. When you have MS, this can be overwhelming physically, and sometimes you really wish there was someone else around to pitch in and help. Assuming they would, anyway.

I once wrote an article for an online magazine about being a single woman with MS. In the article I mentioned how I sometimes wish someone else was around to help take out the garbage. I remember the married editor told me her husband was not home much, and when he was home he seldom took the trash out, so you don't really have any guarantee about the help.

Swinging back to the good side of being alone for a moment, living alone can give you a greater sense of self-sufficiency. Having the ability to get things done and not having to rely on others
can actually make you feel pretty good.


The Ugly


The biggest drawback to living alone is that you occasionally get lonely. Of course you can always pick up a phone and talk to a friend or family member if you need company. Sometimes, in these hectic times it's not that easy to get a hold of people though. You reach out for someone only to get the dreaded voice mail.

I always find it helpful to use that lonely time, to just fill that time up with as much activity as I can, whether it be cleaning the house or writing or playing with the cats. Or, Heaven forbid, turning on the TV. I'd rather reflect on my life, look at pictures or work on some of my lists, though. I am always finding little projects to work on around the house. I also think about what I like about being alone, and that helps.

Sometimes if we are feeling lonely, it helps to just get out of the house and go where there are lots of people and lots of activity. The park, the mall. We may not know anyone there, but we are among other people, and thus not alone.

Being alone can bring about insecurities and fears. Why am I alone? What's wrong with me? Will I always be alone? All I know is we can only take life one day at a time. If our destiny is to be alone, then that is what we will be. Finding one special person to share our life with, a soul mate, may or may not happen. Meanwhile, we need to cherish the people in our lives who matter the most to us.

The important thing to remember is to get out there and live. To not mope around about being alone and to treat ourselves and others well. Being the best people we can be makes all the difference. Letting others see our good nature and positive energy will draw them toward us.

It's Mostly Good, Though


Overall I think being alone is something to be savored. It's crucial that we make some time to be alone as often as possible. To experience the freedom of doing the things we want to do and taking the time to really think about and appreciate things. Just enjoying the quiet stillness of an empty house or maybe playing some music and dancing around. Being alone with ourselves.