The Friendship Journey

"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I recently joined Facebook and began getting friend requests. My Facebook "friends" consist mostly of former co-workers I haven't spoken with for a while (and I guess we still aren't), and a couple of people I've known for years. Being added as a Facebook friend may be a flattering way to up your social status, but true friends are of course much better, and much rarer.

My two oldest and dearest friends live out of state, so I haven't seen them in ages. But the bonds are still there - we cherish all the memories we share and still feel the connections we have, even across the miles.

I've lost touch with most of my school friends over the years. It's sad how some friendships don't survive. The nature of friendships is always changing, though. The real friendships endure, through the good times and bad. As the journey of our friendship continues, the passage of time and our memories converge.

One minute, you're meeting for the first time as little girls on your friend's front porch. Fast forward almost thirty years and you're grown women saying goodbye at the airport, still mourning the tragic loss of her younger brother.

Friendship has evolved with the help of the Internet. These days my "best friend" is now my "BFF" and with a click of a mouse we can add Facebook "friends". We can update each other on Twitter and have online get-togethers - social networking via the computer keyboard allowing everyone to share in the goings on and LOL. And we can find old friends and acquaintances right on our computer screen.

Still, the friends who mean the most to us and the time we spend with them in the real world are what truly matters. A hundred Facebook friends cannot take the place of the one true friend you've known for almost your whole life, the one who knows you best and is always there for you.



It is our duty to make sure we never lose contact with our true friends. Even if we aren't always on the same path, we started a journey together that may have seen some rough spots along the way, but has always been filled with love and understanding, and the desire to continue on.




Some friendships come and go, but for some the journey will last a lifetime.

No Cure for the Summertime Blues? What's that?

Memorial Day weekend has come, and that means summer is about to begin. Summer can be a troublesome time of year for me, due to the fact that the heat worsens MS fatigue. But the season brings to mind fond summer memories and also holds many joys.



Growing up, summer vacations were always the best because they meant no school for three whole months! Just lots of hanging out with friends, going for bike rides or to the beach. I can remember trips to the zoo and Sea World with my family and amusement parks with my friends. Lots of good times.



My summer schedule isn't as packed with activities these days, and while I dread the sometimes sweltering heat, around this time I find myself eager for summer's simple pleasures - the Fourth of July fireworks lighting up the sky, cookouts, popsicles, going barefoot outside, planting flowers, squirting friends and siblings with the garden hose.




I remember when I was a kid, the bees seemed to have it in for me. I got stung a few times. But after the stinger was removed, I ran back out to play. A summer day is not to be wasted after all. Even now I find I can't hide indoors for the whole day - the summer beckons me outside. I stay out as long as I can until the heat sends me melting back inside to the comfort of air conditioning.



I'll always love summer, even though there are bees (I haven't been stung since childhood) and even though I was diagnosed with MS in the summer. There are some things you just can't allow to be ruined completely.

And what's not to love about summer? A time of year that takes you back to the fun of being a kid, with its swimming pools, ice cream stands and roller coaster rides, or maybe lets you lie in a hammock and daydream for a while?

And thank goodness for air conditioning!

Creating Your Perfect Retreat

Sometimes you just want to get away from it all. The countless demands of a job, the endless emails and text messages, the invasions of privacy and infringements on what is supposed to be your free time.

Sometimes we need a sanctuary, a retreat from all the pressures and problems we face each day. An everyday place we can escape to and forget about everything, at least for a while.

To maximize our retreat, the first and foremost rule is to turn off the cell phone. Voice mail was invented for a reason. In fact, turning off all the electronic intruders is a good idea. Shut off the computer and give yourself a break from the Twittering and all that. Also:

Keep it simple.

Your retreat could be anywhere, but home is the best one of all, I think. Just turn off the computer and phone and make yourself a quiet, uninterrupted evening curling up with a good book or working on a hobby.

You could go to a luxury spa, or you could go the more simple (and less expensive) route and retreat to your bathtub, just lying back in the warm water, perhaps listening to some relaxing music and surrounded by aromatherapy candles. (The soaking in a warm tub part not being an option for us MS fatigue folks, unfortunately. Oh, how I miss that.)

Find an empty spot.

If you're at home, send the family to a movie or dinner out so you have the whole place to yourself. If you're in a public place like a park or library, try to get the spot that's the most isolated and quiet.

Sometimes you can find the most perfect spot, to contemplate, to daydream.

Choose different locations.

Of course you can have more than one retreat. Mine include my backyard, where I like to sit under the big tree behind my house, my car, when I go for a drive with no particular destination listening to my music and singing along (not well, but I try), and of course any quiet spot I can find at the park, where I can be surrounded by nature.

Some of the most ordinary places can offer us such great relief from a world that can be so demanding.